brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Randomize