My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Randomize