Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
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