I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Thank you for not boning my boss.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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