look no pants
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heā€™s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Iā€™m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
Thatā€™s two in three months. You really know how to live.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42ā€¯ tv lol
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