I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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