Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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