Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize