Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize