his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
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Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
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I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
My life is pants optional.
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