I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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