nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
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he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
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You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize