hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
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