im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize