K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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