At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
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Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
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Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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