I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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