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Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Randomize
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