Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
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