Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
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Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
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At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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