Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
farters have to be the big spoon...
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize