I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize