i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
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I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
How external is "for external use only"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
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