YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize