when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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