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I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
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