Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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