Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize