Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
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apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
They are going to name an STD after you.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
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