This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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