Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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