if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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