Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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