all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
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Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
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Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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