so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I'm having to shit out rocks
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