Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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