This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
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in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
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I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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