so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
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He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
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The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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