I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
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Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
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This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
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