dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Randomize