I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize