pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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