# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize