the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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