this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize