just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Success! We fucked roommates!
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
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