come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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