Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
How external is "for external use only"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
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