The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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