a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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